I day more to HCG test!

I will be lying if I said I am not a least bit worried or excited for my blood test tomorrow. I comfort myself in the knowledge that if all the tests show a positive, my HCG levels should be at a healthy range since it's an obvious dark line as compared to a faint barely there line. There are so many questions going through my head, but nothing I can ask anyone unless I know the results of the blood test tomorrow. I'm worried, what if the levels drop? What if it's not high enough? How will I cope?

Then I remember something a friend told me. "Don't second guess God's works." So I chill out abit and find something else to do rather than sit around and worry. I cannot tell you how emotionally draining this has been on me, and the fact that there's so much medication in my body, I wonder what's going to happen to me as I get older.

I don't ever wish for anyone to have to go through IVF unless absolutely necessary because it's so invasive and it's not cheap. I am lucky because R earns just enough for both of us so that I can quit my job and concentrate on the IVF. I have to cut back on some expenses and luxuries, but I tell myself it'll be all worth it when I carry my baby/babies.

I received a call today from a Recruiter I knew last month. She sent me for 1 interview and due to that company's headcount approval issues, they didn't get back to me on whether I had been selected or not. I did not bother to follow up because if it's meant to be mine they would have called and I was going to go through IVF anyway so timing seems just right to be a bummer. So now the issue that bothers me is if tomorrow's blood test goes well (which I hope will be) then most likely I will be turning down the offer because baby comes first. I worked so hard to get to this stage and I'm not about to jeopardise anything. This job requires me to work in a HR shared services centre. It is a highly stressful job which requires a lot of staying back late and it can be highly pressurising most of the time. So after thinking it though, I am most likely going to turn down the offer.

Anyway, I wish to thank you readers for giving me the motivation to come in and blog about stuff I wouldn't normally tell people. I have made a couple of great friends from the forum and I wish to keep their friendship going. I appreciate all the kind words and support you guys have given me. Without you sisters, it would have been a long and miserable 2ww.

Love you girls and I wish you all nothing but the best in your baby making journey.

xoxo,

J.